Went to Fuji Q highlands with a bunch of people from the shop. It started out as a bad day from the get go, but at least I packed some of every type of meds I thought I might need in my netbook case – and thank goodness too. To start with, i rode up there with my boss. that was fine – wasn’t bad at all though i felt kinda down and out of it. Tried taking a few pictures from the van on the way up. That didn’t go to well of course, but i think i got a few decent pictures. Then we got there and got in. I pretty much stuck with a friend that shares many tastes and preferences as I do. It was heavily overcast and we started by wandering past the roller coasters towards the new Evangelion exhibit. That was really nice and I bought a towel.
Anyway, we get out of there and wander the park for about an hour, visiting the shops and stuff. Nothing too exciting. We rode the teacups and I enjoyed that as normal. ^_^ All while the sky gets a bit worse, dropping a few drops on us now and then. Eventually, we get to the point of wanting a bite to eat. so we go to the food stadium and order. It turns out that crushed anchovies goes on yakisoba. And crushed anchovies are a really bad thing for my FISH allergy. so eating 2 small noodles with hardly any of that on it, i have a bad reaction – fast pulse, nausea, really shakey, couldn’t feel much, couldn’t focus… I barely got 2 claritin and 2 excedrin migraine pills in me. At least i could still breathe well. After 2 tums to top it off, i did my best to shakily eat my gyoza. at least that was safe. After that i stumbled outside for some fresh air. we sat there and talked about stuff for like an hour or so and by that time he said i was looking a little better and i felt like i could walk without falling over. (though i did trip on a lot of things afterwards)
Anyway, after that we wandered the park a fair bit more. i got some ice cream, the clouds broke and a light rain came down for a while. We sat under a veranda and talked some more. We wandered again, neither of us feeling well enough to ride anything. He got a crepe, which he didn’t recommend. Wandered some more, i needed somehting solid to eat so we went back to some clock food place that had a 40cm hot dog. I got through about 2/3 of it and had to stop – it was interesting but in the end, just disgusting. Then back to wandering some more. I think we saw everything you could possibly see in that park. Eventually it came close enough to time to go that we went to the vans and waited. In the end, we rode 1 thing and did 2 activities. I did have fun talking and shopping though. ^_^
i almost lost it several times. I could physically feel my mood sinking lower and lower. no real reason why. i just couldn’t stop it. at least my boss was good enough to talk about something i once had enough interest in to research thoroughly – Neon Genesis Evangelion. so he asked questions and i answered them as best i could. Then we talked about other anime series we both watch now and then a bit. Thankfully the drive back wasn’t too long – traffic was light. He dropped me off at my building and i went inside.
When i got inside, i checked my computer for messages, etc… nothing too pressing. A friend of mine asked me something about a shared folder we have and i just snapped at her… then told her i was going to bed now and when she wished me pleasant dreams, i told her they won’t be. so i walked away, tore my clothes off, and looked at my bed. i had left yesterday’s laundry and some odds and ends on it. I just pushed them all to the floor and laid down. as soon as i hit the pillow i started crying and couldn’t stop. i don’t know how long i was there like that. typing this now i want to start crying again. after a while i couldn’t breathe and had to go blow my nose. i don’t know how i finally did though since i wanted to only lay there and cry. Actually i do know about how long it was… i started a playlist as i laid down and it ended shortly after i got up, so close to 40 minutes. unable to think or do anything but just cling to my blanket and cry, wishing i had someone to cry on instead.
as soon as i started moving in the restroom, i knew i had to write all this down. at least my hands aren’t shaking now, though i have a very bitter taste in my mouth and think i need something to eat.
Edit:: I forgot to mention the chest pains i was having, but that might have been all the meds I took.